Today is the long-awaited premiere of the Apple Watch. After what seems like an eternity of rumors, everyone with at least $350 can own the fabled gadget. But with this ownership comes responsibility. Responsibility to not be an annoying jerk, or — as I’ve deemed it — a Watchbag. I’m here to show you how.
Related: Apple Watch: The Pogue Review
I should first note that owning an Apple Watch will not make you a bad person. It’s easy to be seduced by the soothing nothings emanating from minimalist hypnotist Jony Ive after all these years. Or maybe you are just really, really, really rich. Better to spend money on an interesting piece of technology than a really expensive entrée.
Whatever the reason, you can still avoid being hated by your family and friends if you follow these basic rules. Remember: All you have to lose is the respect and adoration of the most important people in your life.
Rule 1: Showing it off
(Via Business Insider)
You will undoubtedly be stoked as soon as you shackle this Apple product onto your wrist. But it is important that you keep the excitement to yourself. After all, you are, in essence, strapping a less-functional $350 version of your phone to your arm just for the hell of it. You must refrain from mentioning your purchase in conversation or — even worse — limply holding out your wrist until someone notices it.
If your conversation partner nevertheless vocalizes interest in the watch, you are permitted to demonstrate a maximum of your two favorite features. If at any point this demonstration exceeds the length of five minutes, and your companion’s eyes have glazed over, turn the screen off and continue the conversation.
Take note, Pharrell.
Rule 2: Public use
Your watch is equipped with several voice-related functions, including the capability to make and receive phone calls, and to dictate commands to Siri. This does not give you license to scream at your wrist in a crowded subway car or a bathroom stall, or while at a gathering of friends or family. The act of talking to your arm looks sort of crazy, draws unnecessary attention, and could develop the same wearable social stigmas that doomed the fading Glassholes of yore.
*thanks Yahoo Tech*
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